Many of the youths who are raised on Christian principles receive mixed messages about dating. When a young Christian child grows up to hear and learn in the church that dating is wrong and then goes out to the society to find that dating is “cool”, he/she feels confused. This confusion brings up several questions and may lead to taking an unhealthy direction.
Some Christians, who are single, and refuse dating because they are not ready for commitment, feel lonely and see that others perceive them as “weird people”. Other Christians think that Christianity is “strict, does not have what it takes to cope with the relationships change, is unfair, and unrealistic”.
Most of us want to be considered “normal” in the eyes of friends, peers, and work acquaintances. Currently, the majority of people see dating as a normal process to “explore” with the other person, with or without the intention to make a commitment.
What is the meaning of dating? It’s a kind of a courtship in which two people engage in social activities in order to evaluate the possibility of becoming partners including practicing intimacy.
Human beings are designed to have different kinds of relationships. Extensive literature and research in neuroscience stress on the importance of relationships experiences on the brain development throughout the life cycle.
In Christianity, the relationships guide is the Bible. There, we find elaborative description of how each relationship should be. Examples are God the Father- God the Son, husband-wife, parents-children and friendship.
Let’s look at the definition of friendship as stated in the relationship guide (the Bible).
“A friend loves at all times.” - Proverbs 17:17
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion”. - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends”. - John 15: 12-13.
Even though the Bible does not mention dating, the verses above and others which speak about friendship sound close to the definition of dating with one missing element which is intimacy. Intimacy is added when the couple commits in the marriage relationship that is also described in the Bible.
What can you do as a Christian who wants to follow the guide (the Bible) if you’re not ready for commitment?
(1) Take the chance of being single, and work on enhancing your relationship with God.
(2) Make efforts to look at the positive side of your life, thank God for it, and enjoy it.
(3) Surround yourself with a healthy environment to limit the temptations, and the pressure caused by the worldly norms.
(4) Engage in Christian social activities. This will give you the chance to know others, and be friends with them through serving God.
If you find yourself ready for commitment and you would like to approach someone, try to know his/her values, principles, and faith. When you do so you give your brain the opportunity to reduce emotional - driven decisions and increase logical thinking. You’ll be able to see clearly and make wise choices.
In conclusion; do your best to follow the relationships guide (the Bible), and put your trust in God. He will give you according to His grace and IN HIS TIME.
Some Christians, who are single, and refuse dating because they are not ready for commitment, feel lonely and see that others perceive them as “weird people”. Other Christians think that Christianity is “strict, does not have what it takes to cope with the relationships change, is unfair, and unrealistic”.
Most of us want to be considered “normal” in the eyes of friends, peers, and work acquaintances. Currently, the majority of people see dating as a normal process to “explore” with the other person, with or without the intention to make a commitment.
What is the meaning of dating? It’s a kind of a courtship in which two people engage in social activities in order to evaluate the possibility of becoming partners including practicing intimacy.
Human beings are designed to have different kinds of relationships. Extensive literature and research in neuroscience stress on the importance of relationships experiences on the brain development throughout the life cycle.
In Christianity, the relationships guide is the Bible. There, we find elaborative description of how each relationship should be. Examples are God the Father- God the Son, husband-wife, parents-children and friendship.
Let’s look at the definition of friendship as stated in the relationship guide (the Bible).
“A friend loves at all times.” - Proverbs 17:17
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion”. - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends”. - John 15: 12-13.
Even though the Bible does not mention dating, the verses above and others which speak about friendship sound close to the definition of dating with one missing element which is intimacy. Intimacy is added when the couple commits in the marriage relationship that is also described in the Bible.
What can you do as a Christian who wants to follow the guide (the Bible) if you’re not ready for commitment?
(1) Take the chance of being single, and work on enhancing your relationship with God.
(2) Make efforts to look at the positive side of your life, thank God for it, and enjoy it.
(3) Surround yourself with a healthy environment to limit the temptations, and the pressure caused by the worldly norms.
(4) Engage in Christian social activities. This will give you the chance to know others, and be friends with them through serving God.
If you find yourself ready for commitment and you would like to approach someone, try to know his/her values, principles, and faith. When you do so you give your brain the opportunity to reduce emotional - driven decisions and increase logical thinking. You’ll be able to see clearly and make wise choices.
In conclusion; do your best to follow the relationships guide (the Bible), and put your trust in God. He will give you according to His grace and IN HIS TIME.