Marriage
is an enjoyable commitment to those who believe in it and value it. In this relationship two people come together to create a family. It is important to remember that each person comes to the marriage with a different baggage (background, experiences, strengths and weaknesses) than the others’. Satisfaction and happiness arise when each partner directs his/her energy to accepting one another, working on their own growth, setting and following the family goals they creat together.
There are areas which may need to be enhanced at certain points in the merriage such as communication, boundaries, finances, friendship in the marriage, spiritual intimacy, oneness vr. Twoness, expectations and responsibilities, religion, parenting in different stages, discovering a gap in the relationship as the couple is busy raising the children, infidelity, addictions (pornography, drugs, alcohol, gambling…etc.) , freedom in the marriage….etc.
There are areas which may need to be enhanced at certain points in the merriage such as communication, boundaries, finances, friendship in the marriage, spiritual intimacy, oneness vr. Twoness, expectations and responsibilities, religion, parenting in different stages, discovering a gap in the relationship as the couple is busy raising the children, infidelity, addictions (pornography, drugs, alcohol, gambling…etc.) , freedom in the marriage….etc.
Pregnancy
is a stage which in many cases brings happiness and hope for the future. At the same time it can bring doubts and uncertainty of the couple’s ability to become parents offering the world a new life. These questions and doubts along with the pregnant mother change of hormones can contribute to some challenges in the relationship. Closeness and understanding of each other in this stage is an essential investment to pull from and use when the two become three especially during infancy stage.
Parents
are the role model for their children. An infant opens his eye and finds his care giver waiting for him. He doesn’t know others, he only knows you. If you always smile at him, encourage him, and teach him gently, he will grow up carrying a childhood positive experience which will be the foundation building his life. If you always frown in his face, shame him for his mistakes, and order him to learn, he will also grow up thinking that all parents treat their children the same way and will struggle in his future relationships and choices.
Infancy
is a very important phase in the couple’s life and sets the stage for their future life together. The challenges the couple face when they have their first child can be overwhelming and the life style the couple were used to before may change. Adjustment and flexibility from both parties are recommended in order to maintain closeness as well as freedom.
Children
believe that the parents/caregivers are the role model and they don’t make mistakes. Children then have to justify their parents faults. They do that by putting the blame on themselves thinking that anything wrong happens in the family whether between the parents or between the parents and the children is their mistake. They may live with guilt and shame for the rest of their lives.
Adolescence
is a critical stage built upon the childhood stage. There are many elements that make this phase signficant and challenging. Beside the change of hormones which adolescents experience and the affect of it on their thinking process, desires, and needs. The fast change and the challenges they face bring confusion and instability in forming their independent identity. Having available, understanding, attentive listening parents will have a great and positive impact on how the adolescents pursue their adult lives.
Adult
individuals are the product of the above life stages and experiences. They carry values, morals, believes, traditions, and cultures that are unique to others even if they were raised in the same society.
The positive and negative life experiences require self awareness and getting in touch with the person’s strengths and weaknesses. This is in the effort to have self growth, and making clear choices in life
The positive and negative life experiences require self awareness and getting in touch with the person’s strengths and weaknesses. This is in the effort to have self growth, and making clear choices in life
The Empty Nest
When the couple continue enhancing their relationship along the way of building their marriage and raising their children the result in most cases is a new honeymoon where the couple are back to be one on one. Many couples follow the cycle of doing (working, taking children to school, and activities, attending to children issues…etc,) forgetting their own relationship with each other and making enough effort to maintaining and enhancing it. The couple then discovers that they are strangers to each other, and there is a wide gap between the two of them as they grew apart and not together. This may end in separation or divorce unless they both decide to work on reducing the gap and enjoying this stage together.
Each of the above stages has its own pleasure as well as struggles. We tend to try to find ways to deal with issues according to our knowledge. Sometimes the challenges become overwhelming, and more than what we are able to handle on our own. If you find yourself having difficulty with any matter related to those stages please, take the first step and seek professional help.